When I Grow Up

When I grow up, I want to:

  • Have my puppy (Oscar) cloned, because he is the best dog in the world and I want to keep him forever. I don’t cope well with losing beloved pets, and right now this particular beloved pet is snuggled up next to me drooling ever-so-slightly on my laptop. And because he has a strange fixation with bathtubs.

  • Open a bakery, but not the kind where you have to get up at 3 am to make stuff. I want to have a late-night bakery where night owls such as myself can get fresh bread around 9 pm.
  • Run my own consulting company. Not quite sure what I should consult about, but it will be glamorous and involve traveling to places other than the Hampton Inns and Springhill Suites and Days Inns of rural Utah.
  • Take a lot of motorcycle road trips through rural Utah, and stay in crappy motels with my sweet husband.
  • Be a famous restaurant reviewer. I will specialize in biscuits. Biscuit makers everywhere will tremble at my approach.
  • Have either a teleporter or a Lear jet. I don’t really care which, but I hate flying coach. I’m 5’9″, dammit, and there isn’t enough leg room.
  • Get eight hours of sleep every night. (HA.)
  • See a great white shark in the wild, without a cage, and come away from the encounter with all of my limbs still attached.

On a side note,is it a bad idea to blog while tired? Because it occurred to me after a relaxing 13.5 hour day of work that I haven’t posted anything. Hence the random list. Am I losing my marbles?

Is there any hope?

Will I ever get that elusive 8 hours of sleep?

Isn’t coffee a sleep substitute?

Hello?

Where did you all go?

Oh, there you are. I’m glad we had this conversation.* Good night!

 

*Shamelessly borrowed from The Pioneer Woman, who is awesome and hilarious and the writer of cookbooks.

 

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1 Comment

  1. Diane Tadehara

     /  November 10, 2011

    And when you are a famous biscuit reviewer – not only will biscuit bakers quake at your approach, but butter will melt in your wake. hehehe xoxo

    Reply

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