A Thursday List.

Things I am pretty sure I will never understand:

  1. Being orange from too much tanning bed time in the dead of winter. Or anytime, really.
  2. Putting on fake eyelashes every day. I admire your ability to wake up early, though.
  3. The person who fails to read the instructions that come with some kind of incendiary device, accidentally burns/blows themselves up, and then complains about the device itself.
  4. Being afraid of motorcycles. It’s not the motorcycle itself that is likely to harm you, it’s the person driving the SUV next to you chatting on his cell phone and eating a hamburger.
  5. Students who want a scholarship but think that filling out the application is too much work. Dear students: college is more work than a scholarship application.
  6. Plaid shorts.
  7. Vitamin water. Drink a glass of water, eat a piece of fruit. It’s more filling that way.
  8. Competitive couponing. I just can’t get into it.
  9. Complaining about the intellectual decline of America and then bashing teachers for ‘not doing their jobs.’ Bigger picture, folks.
  10. Most forms of slang, particularly leaving out verbs such as “is” and “will be” in sentences. I admit, it confuses me.

I hope this has entertained you.

Peace, love, and too much free time on my hands,

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