Motorcycles and Neighbors

My adorable/gutsy/funny/tough/smart sister-in-law, Demi, left this comment on my last post about motorcycles:

“Sumiko, can you please write a blog and possibly do some research on ways to cope with neighbors when it comes to your motorcycles! And possibly include in there ways to keep your motorcycle quiet at 4:30am when you are rolling off to work… Thank you in advance!”

Demi, I have done as you requested! That is, as long as when you said “research” you meant “sit in your chair and think of stuff on your own”.

First…no, there’s no way to keep that particular motorcycle quiet unless you swap out the entire exhaust system. Besides being a bit expensive, that would also be a crying shame. Look at how shiny and purty it is!

I’d suggest simply not going to work at 4:30 am, but I realize that many employers won’t accept “My neighbors are cranky about my mode of transportation” as a good reason to roll in about three or four hours late. Tragic but true.

So, barring those two options, I have composed a list of possible ways to help your neighbors get over it. Of course, before you try any of these, you’ll probably want to make sure there is not noise ordinance so they don’t call the cops on you.

  1. Pick them for the “Twelve  Days of Christmas” anonymous gift-giving tradition, and for each of the twelve days, leave them progressively more effective earplugs.
  2. See above, but swap out earplugs for sleeping pills.
  3. Suggest that they soundproof their bedrooms.
  4. Suggest that they buy you a nice, new, quiet car that gets mileage as good as the motorcycle does. Example, “Gee, [neighbor’s name], I’d sure love a Prius! It’s completely silent under 5 mph, did you know that? Shucks, what a shame it’s so expensive and I can’t afford it…”
  5. Bring them these cinnamon rolls and try to make friends with them. Hope that they aren’t allergic to gluten, or that could go rather poorly. However, if they do like these cinnamon rolls (which is very nearly guaranteed to happen), they may come over at 4:30 am demanding that you feed them more. It will be like the zombie apocalypse, except only occurring at your house, and they’ll be after delicious treats, not delicious brains.
  6.  Ignore them until they move away.
  7. Point out that a helicopter, a private jet, or a Cessna are all even louder than your motorcycle, so it’s a good thing you don’t use any of those to get to work!
  8. And the most practical option of all: get them hooked on motorcycles too! A fellow motorcycle enthusiast would never fault you for taking the most fun and joyful mode of transportation to work, even if you did have to leave at 4:30 am.

I hope that helps! You’ll notice that only 3/4 of those are smartass suggestions. There are a couple of real ones in there!

Love, peace, and delightfully loud pipes,
Sumiko

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1 Comment

  1. Demi --"A dedicated Reader"

     /  November 18, 2012

    BWAHAHAH!!! Thanks! Loved the post! Unfortunately I’ve thought about all of these and have already done most of them… Since there is no noise ordinance the plan of action is to ignore them until they move… Ill keep you updated on how that goes!

    Reply

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